Monday 03.28.2016

Beast 12

For time:
25 Walking lunge steps
20 Pull-ups
50 Box jumps, 20 inch box
20 Double-unders
25 Ring dips
20 Knees to elbows
30 Kettlebell swings, (2/1.5)
30 Sit-ups
20 Hang squat cleans, (95/65)
25 Good Mornings (44/33)
30 Wall ball shots, (20/14)
3 Rope climb ascents



When Jen and Jon first approached me about being the featured athlete of the week and told me I would have to do a bio, I definitely struggled with the idea because, as most of you know, I have a hard time talking about myself (insert sarcastic emoji here).

I found myself at CrossFit Artis in 2012, after much persistence from my wife, Kate, and her sister, Anne. I was reluctant to go, as I was confident that the isolation bro-workouts I was crushing at 24-hour fitness were all that I needed. I mean, bicep day IS the best day of the week, after all. So, I show up to Artis and the strength portion of the workout was back squats. Piece of cake. I back squatted all throughout high school, learning that the best form meant I was as far onto the tips of my toes as possible. Jon kept approaching me (kindly, of course) and correcting my form, and I couldn’t figure out why. It turns out, the guy knows what he is talking about. Long story short, we did the conditioning part of the workout and I thought I might actually die. But I left having met some great people and had a great time, so I decided to stick around for a week. That week turned into 3+ years, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

There are so many reasons (and people) I stay at CrossFit Artis but Jen and Jon asked me to keep this to a 10-12 paragraph minimum, so I can’t mention them all. First off, I have an incredible admiration for the strong women I am surrounded by on a daily basis. Growing up as a boy, I was always told that I am of the stronger gender and women should never beat me at anything. The ladies at Artis continue to defy this everyday and I love it. Women are dominating each workout and smoking me, and I’m okay with that. Well, kind of. I like to make sure Emily “Tan Mom” Hill doesn’t beat me by too many reps and that Angie Diehl doesn’t lift one more pound than me. But other than that, I’m okay with losing to girls.

Secondly, I’ve developed so many friendships by being a part of Artis and have met people I wouldn’t ordinarily have met. Each time I walk through the doors at the gym, I run through my short-list of to-do’s:

-Don’t let Kim “The Mayor” Thomas do more bar muscle-ups than me

-Pray to be as cool as David Gilinsky in my 60s

-Build custom cabinets as solid as Chris Charvat (for real, check him out at

-Engaging my will to scream as loud as humanly possible while performing box jumps, like Anne “Iron” Koerten in order to obtain more reps

-Slather my body with magnesium in an effort to help my performance, as taught best by Brian Gohr

-Know that if I happen to smash my car into another car, Joe Hurley will (like a good neighbor) be there to pick me up (true story, folks)

-Checking my hair repeatedly to make sure it has just enough product in it and hoping it looks half as good as Brad Riddle’s

-Flailing around aggressively in hopes of coming close to catching OG Eric Jeanneret in any workout

-Watch Justin Andresen as he writes up his score, seeing how many reps he added to it, just so he can say he beat me (bush league, right?!)

-Admiring the better half of the Andresen marriage for her courage in teaming up with me for The Duo

-Making sure Kelleigh Potter received my 8th custom t-shirt order of the day. Hey, Kel—I need those shirts tomorrow, by the way.

-Spend some time in Kory’s Korner with the one and only Kory Gomez

-Enjoying “Miller Time” with Lisa and Corbin Miller

-Work out next to Marcus Wagstaff, who is a legend and household name within the Ralston basketball community

-Giving Chris Baldwin the most awkward faces possible for the photos that he takes during workouts

-Rattling off my list of ailments to Steve Stonebraker and having him diagnose anything that may be wrong with me (both physically and mentally)

-Thank Jon Day for his continued patience and overall acceptance of our 4:30 class, which frequently becomes R-rated

-Repeating my mantra, “Humuhumunukunukuapua’a”, as taught to me by the wise Nahenahe Keanaaina

-Hoping and praying I never go bald like Ryan Gibb

-Receiving a lesson from Brett Hill on how to never wash my gym clothes and wrist wraps

-Learn how to perfect the strawberry to banana ratio from Mike “OJ” Cook

-Just wait for Jen to tell me use the 15 kilo bar, stop looking down, quit rounding my back, and vote for Bernie Sanders

In all seriousness, CrossFit has helped my entire family; I watched my incredible wife go through a healthy pregnancy and delivery, which I credit to CrossFit Artis and the coaching she was provided (and the fact that she is the toughest human in the history of mankind). I owe my current state of health and fitness to Kate and her insistence that I just try it. Love you, boo!

Last, but certainly not least, a Tim McGee speech wouldn’t be complete without a shout-out to my website, Please, if you are looking to sell your current home or buy a new one, call me today. #ad


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